Learning to Fly

Learning to Fly

Learning To Fly!

Learning about being an entrepreneur from my life in the circus!

My beloved brother is a circus arts trainer (yep, that’s him in the photo above… more photos of him below). His love affair with the circus – not the mistreatment of animals or the creepy clowns who honk their nose and brag about their strangely large feet – is infectious. I vicariously live through his magical adventures under the towering tents and twinkling lights. And I am so proud of his hard work and commitment to doing things that seem impossible.

Since my twins were born, my life has also become a circus! Under my Big Top is crazy, unexpected, chaos… filled with a wild range of emotions. It is filled with some odd characters and I can go from laughing hysterically to holding my breath in fear.. in just a matter of moments. It is full of excitement and tiresome work to pull of an inspiring performance night after night. But beyond all the sparkles, wonder and magic, the circus has given me some wonderful wisdom about being a Mompreneur. Thought I’d share:

 

My days as The Ringmaster

justamompreneur.com-blog-circus1Recently I found an old journal of mine. The first entry was dated April 8, 2011… and little did I know that I was going to become the ringmaster three days later when my twins were born.

Just as the ringmaster is the host of the circus, introducing the various acts, so became my role. All of a sudden, every time someone called, it was to talk about “the act!” Every time someone stopped by, it was to see “the act!” Every time I left the house, everyone wanted a glimpse of “the act!” And every conversation seemed to be about “the act!”

In my early years as an entrepreneur, I was unknowingly the ringmaster, gathering an audience and introducing my products… as the act! I hosted home parties and stood in front of my audience and began, “Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls….” I used elaborate stories to paint pictures and dramatic language and big gestures to illustrate my act’s features, benefits, and value.

Some of the audience enjoyed my act, but it was those who did NOT who got more of my attention. I was doing everything I was taught to do… gather an audience, recite my script, and wait for the applause? Easier said than done, I thought!

 

My days as The Lion Tamer

13895255_10207264119144453_898732746319850304_nAs my kids developed, I became the lion tamer, because raising twin toddlers is a dangerous activity! Suddenly life was chaotic and fearful. I was spinning my wheels constantly trying to keep them safe while taming their primitive and instinctual behaviors. And I was always in problem solving mode, trying to understand their every want and need with every shriek, wail and cry. Their demands became incessant and because I desperately wanted to be a good mom, I was constantly giving in. As a newbie Mom… my lions were taming me!

As an entrepreneur, my fear and desperation was evident by my obsessive need to control the outcome. When I didn’t start seeing the results I wanted I felt like I needed my whip to force people to buy my products. I was pitchy, pushy, and annoying. And I had only one agenda…to get the sale! When I didn’t make the sale, I began doubting my abilities to be a successful entrepreneur.

But I was missing a piece of the puzzle! I was consumed with trying to master my technique… how high to hold the chair, how hard to crack the whip, and how loud to yell the commands! But in order to tame a lion, you’d better be certain about how that lion will respond!

“People don’t like to be sold, but they love to buy!” ~ Just A. Mompreneur

So I stopped pitching and being so forceful. I needed to increase my value and my skill-sets in a big way, so I dove into understanding people and the buying cycle of consumers.

I had 2 choices: to keep chasing people for a sale or to learn how to build a real online business. CLICK HERE to learn my formula to building an online business fast and easy!

 

My days as the Juggler

By nature, the business of raising children is chaotic, overwhelming, and exhausting! You believe you are destined to live in a perpetually messy house with jelly hand prints all over the walls and piles of dirty laundry all over the floor. Destined to wear ratty sweats every day with the dark circles under your eyes as the only “make-up” on your face.

There is no down time and no vacation from raising children. You cannot take a break from your calling as a mother. Rather, you created a team of little rascals working to undo all of your hard work. They take folded laundry and dump it out. They pull all your make-up out of a drawer you just organized. They spill juice on a freshly cleaned carpet. They draw with marker on newly painted walls. Yes, I know these scenarios all too well.

But I was living intentionally in my chaotic circus, or so I thought! I had embraced the first law of online business… Attraction Marketing. To attract customers to me by adding value, providing solutions, serving my target market, I was “demonstrating my value” on every social media channel, I was attending every local network meeting, and I was prospecting my ass off! All in an effort to attract more sales. Until one day, a long time friend of mine asked me, “What exactly do you do?” It was apparent to me that if he couldn’t tell, chances are neither could anyone else. I was doing too much and confusing my audience.

I was intensely frustrated and felt as though all my effort was futile. I had spread myself so thin trying everything, instead of focusing on mastering 1-2 strategies at a time. I was anxious, stressed, and burnt out and I had no clear plan for promoting my business. I was ready to quit!

 

My days as a Tightrope Walker

I needed to find balance among all the chaos… and fast! It was my last stitch effort before throwing in the towel as an entrepreneur for good! But how?

My first step, was to resign from “juggling” my work, my children, and my marriage! Being in constant motion was distracting me from the real reason I wanted to become a Mompreneur in the first place. So I paused!

I learned how to breathe deeply. I learned how to think effectively. I re-evaluated my values and priorities and during my pause, I got back to what was most important.. ME (my brand!)

Then I sought after a better system for success… something that would save me time, energy, and money! CLICK HERE to learn about my system for success. What were successful people in my industry doing, I wondered and I asked! I learned and learned and learned some more.

Then I developed a very strategic detailed plan.

Still challenged- but more confident and calm, I once again began to move. I stepped out on that high-wire… afraid to look down, afraid to lean too far to one side or the other, worried if I would make it to the other side. But I kept moving… steadily. And every day, though I was afraid, I would put one foot in front of the other, until finally I could see the other side!

 

Today, I am a Trapeze Artist!

When it’s a choice between where you are and where you want to be, standing at that seemingly impossible junction… you can make a radical choice. You can learn to fly!

I stopped trying to be a super-mom in my own strength. I stopped doubting my potential. I stopped trying to be perfect!

I learned the system. I have implemented the plan. I am committed to the process… And I have let go!

I have built an incredible net. A community of people who support, encourage, teach, and ultimately will catch me when I fall. So with a lighter load, I look up… spread my arms… and enjoy the breeze through my hair!

I am learning how to fly!

If you enjoyed this article, please SHARE with a hard-working Mompreneur! And join in the conversation and leave a COMMENT!

 

1551709_301024276738427_5077827492610139075_n795_106358746204982_1854860250_n14169519_659772294196955_544953887_n10153862_264163600424495_1010819995_n555673_147486422092214_88607206_n1928747_574256582748527_3411175414024599025_n

MORE PHOTOS OF MY BROTHER…FLYING HIGH!

 

ABOUT Candace Jenkins-Espinet

blog cAs a busy Mom of twins and CEO and founder of JustaMOMpreneur, a multimedia platform designed to motivate, inspire and inform mompreneurs, I juggle a million things each day and am always on a quest to redefine the meaning of “Work/Life Balance”.

By utilizing my education in Psychology, my background as an elementary educator, over 10 years of business experience, and my parenting lessons, I bring other Mompreneneurs invaluable resources, tools and information I’ve acquired on how to work smarter, not harder – so we have more time to spend on what matters most…your family!  This blog is focused on providing Mompreneurs with encouragement, support and resources as they travel the journey of motherhood and entrepreneurship. Join me as I discuss how to grow our businesses, how to turn ideas into actionable results, how to maintain our relationships, how to help others, and how to organize our lives and make it all work.

You are not alone! CLICK HERE to Join my MOMpreneur Success FB Community TODAY!

 

 

P.S. Want help focusing and managing your time, energy and business online, so you have more time, energy and money to do what matters MOST? I’d love to help you… CLICK HERE for my 5-STEP MOMpreneur BLUEPRINT 

Related Posts

Putting Mommy in Time-Out

Rebel for Success

Let Rejection Enhance Your Opportunity for Greatness

 

Putting Mommy in Time-Out

Putting Mommy in Time-Out

Last weekend, I enjoyed a kid-free weekend. I got a whole 36 hours without my kids doing my favorite thing :

…sitting on the beach,

… grooving to my music while the waves roar in the background,

… daydreaming

… while watching the sun set over the ocean, and spotting the occasionally dolphin!

Beach therapy is just what the doctor prescribed because I’m a compulsive “doer”!

If you could see what the inside of my brain looks like, you would probably see a LIST! I am a neurotic list maker (I consider it a gift because I LOVE a good list!)

Ultimately, it’s because I am a “doer”. And please don’t misunderstand, I am not using this term in the sense of being ultra-productive. I have the compulsion to “do” regardless of how productive or not! Even by engaging in mental “doing” I feel like I am taking action. For example, anxiety and worrying gives me the sense of “doing” when really they are just distractors that fills my mind with busy thoughts.

Buddhists refer to this as Monkey Mind. Buddha described the human mind as being filled with drunken monkeys, jumping around, screeching, chattering, carrying on endlessly. We all have monkey minds, Buddha said, with dozens of monkeys all competing for attention. And fear is an especially loud monkey, pointing out everything that could go wrong and constantly sounding the alarm!

So stillness and silence is my daily practice of choice to calm my Monkey Mind! The monkeys are why it is necessary to put Mommy in time-out!

Do you schedule downtime?

As the Olympics are approaching, think about elite athletes who methodically schedule rest and recovery periods into their training schedule.

In order to function optimally, we sleep to rest our body and eat to recover our energy and so must we take time-outs for our mind and spirit.

As a Mom, I love using time-outs in my home! It is not seen as punishment (depending on who you ask!) I usually implement time-outs in my home to stop an unwanted behavior and calm our minds and focus our awareness on an alternate behavior, usually breathing. Taking effective time-outs will increase your productivity.

  1. Plan Your Time-Outs

blog eA lot of the time, we are so busy planning our work day, that we forget about “how” to rest. Plan beforehand what you will do during your time-out so you feel restored and re-energized after your break and prepared for the next round of productive work. I usually engage in the opposite behavior, so if I’ve been sitting… I move. If my mind has been active… I do something quiet. During your time-outs, step away from the computer and move your body from its usual position and shift your attention to something else fun and lighthearted.

Eat lunch or a snack and get hydrated. Take a nap. Meditate, which is like exercise for your brain. Clean, since clutter is distracting. Read a book. Play a game of cards with co-workers. Take a short walk, allowing your brain to wander unstructured. Chat with a friend about the latest episode of your favorite TV show. Doodle. Do yoga. Garden. Daydream. Ask questions and listen for answers. Or do nothing! Whatever floats your boat and gets your mind off of work and doesn’t require much concentration, will serve you well.

Do anything except for work!

2. Adopt My 90 Minute Rule 

girl-429380_960_720Our human minds can focus on any given task for 90-120 minutes. Afterwards, a 20-30 minute break is required for us to get the renewal needed to perform our next task again. So, I split my day into 90 minute work sprints and work in small bursts with purpose and focus. So, instead of looking at my day as an 8 hour work day, I structure it into 90 minute blocks followed by 30 minute blocks. Then I assign a high priority task to each block. So if you’ve got 4 blocks, you will be able to have 4 tasks that you can get done every day much more easily.

3. Adopt My 90 Day Rule

blog a90 day goals are so powerful. You gain incredible clarity as to what needs to be accomplished right now. You are more motivated to work on your goals since you only have 90 days. And every 90 days, you get the opportunity to hit the restart button.

Personally, I only schedule 3- 90 day plans throughout the year: January-March, May–July, September-November. I alternate these highly focused days of sales activities with 30 days of slower paced non-sales activities, or time-out activities. Within those 30 days, I am still engaged in the day to day running of my business, but instead of focusing on achieving my goals, I analyze and evaluate the last 90 days goals, then I strategize and plan for the next 90 days goals. And the most important part is I schedule a kid-free weekend where I can reboot my mind and press the reset button.

I believe the United States has become overworked, overstressed and overall an unhealthy society. In this fast-paced nation of workaholics, I have chosen to create my own rules for living MY life!!!

It is NOT selfish to take care of yourself, it’s sensible! It is NOT indulgent to make happiness a priority, it’s necessary!

Invest in yourself, so you will have more to give.

Moms typically give and give until there’s nothing left to give. Be the kind of caretaker you are to your kids and your pets and just focus it on you. Self-care is an act of survival!

We all need to be alone for a moment, in order to find out who you really are and what you really want out of life.

Do something today that your future self will thank you for… Put yourself in a time-out!

Want help focusing and managing your time, energy and business, so you have more time, energy and money to do what matters MOST? I’d love to help you… register for a FREE 30min Consultation NOW!

ABOUT Candace Jenkins-Espinet

As a busy Mom of twins and owner of JustaMompreneur.com, a multimedia platform designed to motivate, inspire and inform mothers, I juggle a million things each day and am on a quest to redefine the meaning of “Work/Life Balance”.

blog cBy utilizing my education in Psychology, my background as an elementary educator, over 10 years of business experience, and my parenting lessons, I bring other Mompreneneurs invaluable resources, tools and information I’ve acquired on how to work smarter, not harder – so we have more time to spend on what matters most…our family!  This blog is focused on providing Mompreneurs with encouragement, support and resources as they travel the journey of motherhood and entrepreneurship. Join me as I discuss how to grow our businesses, how to turn ideas into actionable results, how to maintain our relationships, how to help others, and how to organize our lives and make it all work.  You are not alone!

Rebel for Success

Rebel for Success

Breaking Rules Will Make You Succeed Faster

 

I happen to think of myself as somewhat of a rebel! A rule breaker, of sorts! But I recently realized that this side of me only emerges when I am managing my business.

Truthfully…I have a lot of rules in my home! Any self-respecting control freak and recovering perfectionist does!

But these days the rules in my home involves nose-picking, gas-passing, and crotch-grabbing! As a slight hypochondriac germaphobe, who walks around with baby wipes and sanitizer everywhere, my 5 year old twins have been testing my gross-ness capacity! More times than I can bear to admit, I peer in my rear view mirror to see a unsuspecting finger slip from one’s nose to…gulp…oh no…clearly MY child has more sense than that…into their mouth!

I gag, I shriek and gag again! Then I sigh in defeat! My rules seem completely ineffective!

One day last week we returned home to find a box on our front porch. An unsuspecting surprise from my kids Great-Aunt. At a recent lunch, where the usual topics of gross-ness emerged, she was so amused at my kids interest in “grossology”. To stir the pot, as most relatives often do, she indulged in their interests by buying them a box of Booger Balls …”Mix ’em, pick ’em, and flick ’em for an epic battle of slimy, gross, booger battle!”

IMG_2611My kids cheered and chanted repeatedly “Booger Balls… Booger Balls… Booger Balls…” How could I compete with that?Admittedly, I couldn’t.

Feeling like my family was conspiring against my earnest effort to contribute to society, by raising “un-gross” human beings, I decided to change the rules!

As an entrepreneur, sometimes we get stuck in generally-accepted dogmas of business. We allow the rules of running our business dictate how we behave, how things are done, and how we should think as entrepreneurs. Merriam-Webster defines “entrepreneur” as “a person who starts a business and is willing to risk loss in order to make money.” In a broad sense, that might include every small business owner. But to me, a true entrepreneur is someone who is courageous enough to challenge the status quo and take some real risks that might result in significant rewards.

I am all about disrupting the status quo and don’t subscribe to a “one size fits all” mentality. So instead of fighting my kids one booger at a time, I decided to join them! Let the Booger battle begin…

1.”Pick” your battles! (What’s the point of publishing a blog, if you can’t include corny puns?)

IMG_2591Parenting can sometimes feel like a constant battle.

Frankly, I am tired of being the police, correctional officer, referee, judge and jury for every indecent act of grossness.  For me, the fight is over and I am minimizing the time spent in power struggles with my kids by choosing my battles.

We fight battles every day: at work, at home, even within ourselves, but do we ever think about how to most effectively pick our battles? If you learn to choose your battles wisely, you will be far more effective at winning those battles that are really important. Win the big and important battles and the let the others go; you will find people will respect you more and look to you as a true leader.

 

2. Don’t be a law-breaker. Be a rule-maker.

IMG_2552Adhering to society’s rules can keep us out of trouble, but it can’t guarantee us success.

Sometimes “following the rules” means holding ourselves back. It’s easy to fall into habits and stay within our comfort zone. We can still respect the rules of others, but we don’t have to make the mistake of assuming that the rules created by others function as a comprehensive plan for our own success.

It can be difficult to imagine our own success because it’s uncharted, unscripted, and completely unbound. But dare to imagine it anyways! Obedience never has been nor ever will be a substitute for creativity.

The Golden Rule from the Bible (Matt 7:12) states “do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” But I created a Platinum Rule that I prefer to live by, which goes one step beyond…

Be better to others than they are to you.” – Just A. Mompreneur

So don’t blindly follow someone else’s guidelines for you. Determine who you are and what you stand for and make your own rules!

3.Set realistic rules!

IMG_2608aAfter evaluating the importance of this issue and the possible consequences I am aware that there are no life-threatening consequences.

We all pick our boogers… it’s an unrealistic goal that it will NEVER happen! So my goal isn’t getting my kids to stop doing it necessarily! My goal is to get them to stop doing it in front of people! I just want them to discreetly go to the bathroom and use a tissue!

Sometimes as an entrepreneur we set goals that are so unattainable for even the most seasoned super-entrepreneurs to reach. And we spend lots of energy attempting to reach that goal, to no avail. Set up a win-win response in your brain by setting just ONE achievable goal each day. You will receive confidence from achieving your goal and it will give you the momentum and motivation you need to achieve more!

The first rule of survival is: make your own rules” – Joan Rivers

Success is the result of taking responsibility for creating what we want. It’s not a reward for playing by someone else’s rules.

Stop wasting time waiting around for someone to give us a sticker for doing all the “right” things.

We have the power to make things happen for ourselves and I give you permission to think outside of the box and make your own rules.

 

If you enjoyed this article, please SHARE with a hard-working Mompreneur! And join in the conversation and leave a COMMENT!

ABOUT Candace Jenkins-Espinet

As ablog c busy Mom of twins and owner of JustaMOMpreneur.com, a multimedia platform designed to motivate, inspire and inform mothers, I juggle a million things each day and am always on a quest to redefine the meaning of “Work/Life Balance”.

By utilizing my education in Psychology, my background as an elementary educator, over 10 years of business experience, and my parenting lessons, I bring other Mompreneneurs invaluable resources, tools and information I’ve acquired on how to work smarter, not harder – so we have more time to spend on what matters most…your family!  This blog is focused on providing Mompreneurs with encouragement, support and resources as they travel the journey of motherhood and entrepreneurship. Join me as I discuss how to grow our businesses, how to turn ideas into actionable results, how to maintain our relationships, how to help others, and how to organize our lives and make it all work.You are not alone! CLICK HERE to Join my MOMpreneur Success FB Community TODAY!

 

 

P.S. Want help focusing and managing your time, energy and business online, so you have more time, energy and money to do what matters MOST? I’d love to help you… CLICK HERE for my 5-STEP MOMpreneur BLUEPRINT 

Let Rejection Enhance Your Opportunity for Greatness

Let Rejection Enhance Your Opportunity for Greatness

She’s an incredibly thin-skinned, people-pleasing, sensitive soul.

All the things I have fought to change within myself my whole life. And like a mirror, my daughter reflects those things in me I battle with everyday as an entrepreneur.

Within the first few weeks of starting preschool, my daughter began finding reasons to stay home. First she complained of her “eyebrows hurting”… I naively thought she might have a headache, so I kept her home. By 9:05 am, the pancakes and ice pack eased her pain and my “sick” child was twirling in her tutu asking to go to the playground. The next day, she cried that her elbow hurt, then her toenails, then her neck. A pattern emerged and every morning was a struggle to get her to go to school. But I forced her and her fear manifested psychosomatically into massive hives all over her body at the same time every morning. I would get a call from the school office as soon as I’d returned home from dropping her off.

I analyzed the school’s daily menu, lathered her skin with various creams, pumped her up with Benadryl, took time off for countless doctor visits and allergy tests… the results were all inconclusive.

Finally, I reached out to her teacher and received an email that broke my heart and I cried. “We are collectively helping her find her voice,” her teacher wrote, after my daughter sadly experienced feeling intimidated by another more dominant classmate. I was shocked that my seemingly self-assured, alpha daughter, was not as confident on her own as she appeared to be at home. As I saw her light begin to dim, I feared that this introductory experience to school would dampen her love for learning. I feared a future of her being bullied, and I was mad!13680339_925525717570117_3595062885372446333_o

I was mad at my daughter for not speaking up for herself. I was mad at the little girl for preying on the good-hearted. I was mad at her teacher for doing more to protect her heart. I was mad at her school for not confronting the other little girl’s mother. I was mad at society for tolerating bullies.

Most of all, I was mad at myself for not better equipping my daughter with higher self-esteem.

This week, as we prepare to attend kindergarten in a new school, we have been in dialogue about lots of “big kid” issues: changing clothes in front of others for gym class, navigating the hallways to the cafeteria and bathrooms alone, stranger danger, and making new friends. My extremely social daughter (a trait she did not get from her mildly introverted Mommy), worries about making friends. “We need to take baths so we can be popular,” I overheard her tell her opposing brother yesterday. Yeesh! I never expected to have to deal with her worrying about her popularity until perhaps middle school… but the heart of the matter is she just wants to be loved and accepted! It’s what all humanity wants!

Rejection is one of the most powerful and damaging forces in our lives. We will do almost anything to avoid it. For years, as a new entrepreneur, I avoided sales. My business was a non-profit, because no sales means no money! But the fear of the word “No” kept me from pursuing my dreams.

The pain of rejection is undeniable. According to Psychology Today, “Studies show that the same areas of the brain become activated when we experience rejection as when we experience physical pain. This is why rejection hurts so much (neurologically speaking).”

Fear of rejection stops us from trying. It’s not your thoughts that that stops you from taking action… it’s your feelings about your thoughts! Acknowledge your feelings and then choose to change them.

Being an entrepreneur, you need to have thick skin—but a big step toward overcoming rejection is preparation. The difference between successful people and unsuccessful people is that successful people do all the things unsuccessful people don’t want to do. Learning how to handle rejection are keys to not losing your mind and getting wins in sales.

  1. Exercise your rejection muscle!

Mommy n JTo grow your “I no longer fear rejection” muscle, it must be used often. Getting comfortable with rejection becomes easier with practice. Every time your feelings try to talk you out of a possible encounter, challenge it and do it anyway. Feel the fear, feel the doubt, feel the uncertainty but take action anyway. Take a breath, trust yourself, and ask for what you want. Never accept someone saying “no” as a reason to quit; the only one who can can stop you in your tracks, is you.

Set a daily rejection goal. Collect as many “no’s” as possible. Aim for 3 to 8 rejections a day (depending on how much success you want and how fast you want it).

The yes’s built my business, but the no’s built my character.- Jimmy “The Butcher” Smith

Rejection is a necessary step in the pursuit of success.

2. Practice, drill, and rehearse

Sept 19 2015d-Disney1Everything can be practiced,  but don’t fall into the trap of shooting for perfection. Practice doesn’t make perfect…practice makes better. Know that every master was once a disaster.

Get in front of real prospects often and practice your approach and have fun doing it.  Do it where it the outcome does not matter. Just aim to learn from each rejection so you can refine your skills and your approach the next time.

 

When 10 doors are slammed in your face, put a smile on and go to door 11- Just A. Mompreneur

Rejection doesn’t hurt, expectation does.

3. Celebrate

20150612_201153Take off your critic’s hat and become your own cheerleader. Even though you get a rejection, celebrate for putting yourself out there. Nothing happens until YOU do something… celebrate “doing something!

Realize that it is not about you. Understand that timing is everything. When someone decides they are not interested in your offer, remember that it’s just not the right time for them. Put on some music, do your happy dance, and continue with the relationship because you never know what the future holds. Perhaps circumstances will change and suddenly your prospect is open to what you have to offer.

If you live for people’s acceptance, you will die from their rejection.- Lacrae

Rejection is merely someone else’s opinion.

Successful entrepreneurs know that rejection is part of the process, therefore they handle it with competence.

This negative mindset I embraced for 40 years of my life. I focused so much on the potential of rejection that I magnified the probability that I’d be rejected. And I paid a huge price for inaction. In underestimating my ability to take on challenges and risks in my life I allowed self-doubt sabotage my ability to rise to potential opportunities. This all-consuming fear controlled my early entrepreneurial years and I missed out on so many relationships and opportunities, sabotaging myself by creating fear and pain in my mind that wasn’t based on facts or reality.

Your dream life comes down to you falling in love with the word “no” and overcoming rejection. It is never about you personally. It is simply a “I don’t know” or “It’s not the time” or “I don’t understand” or “I’ve been hurt before” or thousands of other possible reasons. Bless and release. Move on. Become unstoppable.

What is worse than rejection is regret!

And you miss 100% of the opportunities you don’t take.

headshot-m4

Candace Jenkins-Espinet

In Pursuit of Pleasure

In Pursuit of Pleasure

After being challenged by my mentor to spend an ENTIRE hour and half doing something just for myself that I enjoyed…I was stumped!

Something I enjoyed? Something just for me?

As of lately, my idea of fun included laying in bed alone and taking a nap! Restoring for my energy… definitely. Fun? I wasn’t convinced.

This simple homework assignment changed the trajectory of my life. I decided to drastically increase my fun quotient!

But sadly, I did not know what truly gave me pleasure anymore! While I was truly grateful for the perks of being able to work for myself around the schedule of my family, I somehow lost focus of the bigger picture and spent day after day enthralled in the “drudgery” of being an entrepreneur and the “drudgery” of being a stay-at-home mom.

I believe that the most important work I will ever do are in the walls of my home. So when I decided to become a Mompreneur, my objective had always been to become a profitable entrepreneur WITHOUT having to sacrifice any family time.

I was convinced that I had done everything “right.”

I established clear “work hours” and “Mommy hours” but faced with all the demands of my growing business, I was perpetually distracted. I would often return to my family, experiencing them not as a source of joy, but as one more demand already in my over scheduled life. I was beyond overwhelmed, and subsequently short-tempered with my family.

I believed that being a Mompreneur meant I was putting the needs of my family first. But after three years, I began to realize that I had fallen back into the rat-race trying to build my business. My days recycled themselves and a pattern began to form. A pattern I wanted to change!

I reevaluated my priorities and scrutinized my days and I discovered what was missing was the fun, pleasure and excitement in my day to day life!

I decided to open myself up to experiencing an abundance of fun! And so my journey began!

  1. I Gave Myself Permission…

The waiting was over! I didn’t want to wait to have fun, until my one day off. I didn’t want to wait to have fun, until summer vacation. I didn’t want to wait to have fun, until I could retire.

1

My mother was a hard-working woman! She taught me the value of an excellent work ethic, but she also taught me how to settle. She worked faithfully in the same job for over 30 years. Over the years we talked about her vision for retirement. She wanted to spend her days laying on hammocks on the beaches of the world.

Sadly, she passed two weeks before she retired.

Losing my mom last year gave me a new perspective. The ultimate measure of life (in this realm), is not how much time we have but how we choose to invest our energy with the time we have. And at the end of our lives what we will value the most is what we did with our families and the memories we created.

We always think we have time.” – Buddha

I gave myself permission to stop waiting to experience joy and fun!

2. I Scheduled a Daily Moment for Pleasure… 

How frequently are you experiencing a deep sense of joy and satisfaction? How many hours each week do you experience activities just for pleasure?

In pursuit of pleasure 1

Engaging in activities, where pleasure is its own reward (not love, money, or recognition), results in us  perform at our best when we  feel positive and pleasant emotions such as enjoyment, challenge, adventure and opportunity.

In my pursuit of pleasure, I decided to make activities that cultivate positive emotions priority and I implemented a daily moment of pleasure into my schedule!

Whether I indulged in a hot bath, orchestrated a dance off with my kids, watched the sunset, or guiltlessly devour a piece of cake, I chose to give myself one moment of unadulterated pleasure every day!

3. I Added Joy to THE Process…

Building a business means discipline and consistency, so if I have to repeat the same process day in and day out, I want it to be a process I enjoy doing.

Travel enriches and expands my heart and soul.” – Just A. Mompreneur

Making sales presentations, tracking marketing efforts, and preparing P&L statements didn’t scream fun! But NECESSARY! So, I decided to put my experience as an entrepreneur, years of business management and my addiction to planet porn (browsing the internet through photos of beautiful travel destinations) to good use by pursuing a business in travel. I figured, if I have to make sales presentations anyways, why not  inspire and encourage others to have more fun, create more memories, and be a participator NOT just a spectator in their life.

I am excited about my new adventure as a travel agent!

As a Mompreneur, I still work hard…but now, I play even harder!

Stay Golden,

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Candace Jenkins-Espinet in Pursuit of Pleasure!